Sweetheart

sweetheart, don't you wish her sugar
was as good as mine
don't you wish her richness
reached to fyne
cause you'll never find another i
no sweetheart, you'll never find yourself
a precious lil dime

you thought you were the right king of you castle
put me at the bottom
sittin in your lil cell
follow you around at you're ever bell
well i aint no holla chick
and now i'm gone you got no one to satisfy your dick
no one to stumble for ya, no one to fall
cause now i gone sweetheart,
she aint got nuttin on me, you know that fool

when comes down to the nitty gritty
you cant find me in her, no matter how you itty bitty her
you can tap her all you want
but she aint got the jokes like me, the ass like me
the smile, baby since i been gone
you'll never get another with this chicks identity
cause they always say you miss a good thing when its gone
and you still be hollerin, thinkin i'm holdin on
but baby, you couldn't, nah, you couldn't be anymore wrong

and she can statisfy you in the bedroom
give you foot massages, put ya in your thrown
then she'll see the error of her ways
and I'll enjoy seein you back on your own
cause aint it a bitch sweetheart when karma comes knockin
fate something no one can be stoppin
oh sweetie pie, my love of my life
its been heaven since you been gone
cause it seems since i been livin,
you started to subside :)

These are all random verses of freestyle verses i've literally written now. all about different things (but spose kinda tie)

theres a million things i could tell you
but none of them would say it right
i would love to love you
i would love to stay friends
i would love this to be simple
either way we gotta bit the bullet and not pretend

and baby i would love nothin more
than you to come and go
i'll break it simply to you though
once your gone
you better stay gone
because now i've stopped running from
the truth, i can see the light
and how you falter the way you do
fool me once, but not again
truthfully we could never be friends

.....................

**Karma**

you broke my heart the way you did
stabbed me right through the heart
ripped it out with the knife, tore it apart
threw it on the floor then spat on the remains
continued to laugh through the rain
you never did know how to use your reigns
but now its over and your thinkin of me
and i've moved on, the tables have turned
and i'm enjoying you swimming in your pain
because aint karma a bitch, aint it sore
doesnt it kill you more and more each day
i know i dont have to say a word
cause i know karma will make you sorry anyway

...............

baby arent we crossing that boarder
so close to the edge, i can feel myself slipping of the ledge
and i dont want to loose you, i dont want to loose him
come to know someone amazing
but he wants to come in, and i only see friends
so what shall i do? shall i sink or swim?
shall i drown in this rain; continue in this game
or shall i stay? stay even though i know he'l recipracate
he wont say whats written in his thoughts
we could all die here if he doesnt do what he ought
so will someone tell me how to survive
cause at the end we both need to still be alive

and if i had felt the same
i woulda dragged this boat back to the shore
and

(Near Six Months) Sober

It’s been a long time coming
And I’m only near two third there
It gets hard, then it gets easier
But I know the sun will finally get here
And you better steer clear

Cause I been near 6 months clean
Sober, stone cold turkey
Getting to that place where you can no longer hurt me
One day I’ll reach that place
Where I won’t want to rip your heart out
And punch you in the face
But for right now I’m sober
And learning my own space

You where a drug impossible to get off
No matter the repercussions
I stayed for the effects
Wore you like a trophy as you did to me
I want a man and you wanted a plastic Barbie
Still an achievement in my eyes
And you? Hardly

It’s harder since you been gone
Better undoubtedly as you hurting games are done
Was easier to double up of you
Than face the reality that to myself I was untrue
I was never a yes girl you desired
Life became too complicated
And still my arm I tied; to dose back up
To keep crying was easier than giving up

But now I’m near six months sober
And darlin, I’m getting over, so dayam over
Over the coud-have-been’s
Over your needle sticking into me
Over my heart that never ceased to bleed
And soon I’ll be over the repercussions to my ego
Cause I deserve the best, if only I had known.

KLN 2010

Plight

Plight

I’m always feeling like I’m falling
Expecting someone to see
And for them to repeat it to me so I don’t forget
Constantly reminding me I’m not good enough

And every time I pick myself back up
Dust of my shoulders and feel like I’m getting myself
Back on track
You see me fall again
And here we go again

Because I feel I always come second in this race
And no matter how hard I push
I just can’t seem to gain first place
And again I’m unimportant and my efforts are replaced

Replaced with how I fell
Not who I am, or how hard I try
But replaced with what’s outside
And I fall, fall into a hole so deep inside
That all I see is black
I sit and cry

I sit and cry
Till I get back up and dust of my shoulders
Start to feel like I’m climbing back up to the light
Till you start to muffle my light
And here we go again
Your voice is always the beginning of my plight

KLN 2010

Pink Elephant

Pink Elephant
It’s too hard to keep going round and round
Pretending its not there
And we can’t hear the sounds
There’s a pink elephant in the room
And we daren’t speak
In case our hearts cut, and begin to leak

Well the pink elephants not going anywhere
We’re still in the position we were back there
And everyday its getting harder and harder
Treading on eggshells, you forget my age
Treat me like a child, every page reads the same
We never progress and stand still in our pain

Well I think its time for me to get gone
You want to stand still and not admit your wrong
It takes two to dance my heart can’t keep breaking
Chance after chance
You chose her so long ago, for me there’s no hope
And you couldn’t do the one thing I wanted more
So you needn’t worry no more, I know how to use the door.

KLN 2010

MY YOUTUBE!

If you read my blog, please please PLEASE subscribe to my youtube! i REALLY want to reach to 100 subscribers by my 25th birthday! thats the 22/11. so sub or be square! this is a video from this week :D

check me out on www.youtube.com/imlianesoul

cheers me dears!!! love <3 xxx

A'

A'

somedays i'm reminded that its hard
that knocks me right back to the start
but when it comes down to it
i know you never deserved my heart

once, twice, three times
you'd knock me for six
stand from your tower
and smile at my scattered bits
and know one will ever know
how it felt to feel like this

your actions always spoke louder than your words
they'd surround my skies
and rain wasnt far behind
best thing you ever did was when you said goodbye

i know no matter where i position
i can speak the word of your god
and you still wouldnt listen
cause all the time has passed
and now i'm far gone finished

love you's, hate you's have surpassed
the end has finally been and gone
i finally learnt who you are
someone who'll never learn to love someone else
too consumed with your own heart.

DEAR AARON.....

dear aaron, in case you didnt know, i spent a day and a half crying over you, then i realised WTF am i doing? after all the controlling, condescending, selfish, self involved freak has now gone, i can finally be myself without being told i am wrong, that im not good enough, that i have to change for your agenda (because according to you the world arrolves around you) and for you who didn't know, he's an asshole that treated me like less than the dirt on his shoe. and if you think i spent anymore time weeping over you, sweetheart, you need to check yourself. i can pick anyone up -tonight 2 numbers BREDRIN. thats right, now i'll waste no more time on you than you did to me. have a miserable life sweetheart, thats all you are worth :)

DEAR ARRON.....

dear aaron, in case you didnt know, i spent a day and a half crying over you, then i realised WTF am i doing? after all the controlling, condescending, selfish, self involved freak has now gone, i can finally be myself without being told i am wrong, that im not good enough, that i have to change for your agenda (because according to you the world arrolves around you) and for you who didn't know, he's an asshole that treated me like less than the dirt on his shoe. and if you think i spent anymore time weeping over you, sweetheart, you need to check yourself. i can pick anyone up -tonight 2 numbers BREDRIN. thats right, now i'll waste no more time on you than you did to me. have a miserable life sweetheart, thats all you are worth :)

Friends Pt 2

Friends Pt 2

Don’t think I could ever conclude
Just how you do
How you come, how you stay
How you leave, you make it easy
To walk away
Don’t hold it against me if friends
Just aint on my agenda
When what you did is all I can remember

All the good has gone
Your true colours have been undone
And I can see you in the dark
I can see you have no heart
Now I know I never knew who you are
Cause you brought the clouds over my sunshine
And smiled as you did it

You had it twisted
You thought pain was love
And love was pain
Everyday we went round and round
Doing it again
I was road kill if I was blocking your way
You never knew what happiness felt like
And I doubt you will one day

Last famous words
‘still want to be friends’
excuse me if that’s not in my plans
as I can’t go round again
once was enough, twice was a fool
Eternity for my heart would be cruel

Goodbye ‘friend’ into my black
I’m never doing that again
I’ll never looking back.

KLN Oct 2010

Part Time

Personal experiences inspired this, a ma gurl named it. learn to be better, fast

Part Time

Don’t need no part time friends
No part time lover
They say if it’s fo sure
You’ll handle the truth and not stutter
But already I see the cracks in the faith
Were starting to slip outta place

They say if it’s meant to be
It’ll all come back to me
Before I was young and innocent
Only knew how to be naive
Now I’m trynna be the friend I need
And if you cant handle the truth
Then maybe its time you leave

I aint got no time to stop and stare
Talk about the minor tings
Sweetheart I don’t care
I want you here for the end of time
But if you don’t feel the same
Don’t waste my time
Be upfront and don’t lie
Honesty will get you far
And we can either stay or say goodbye

Aint got no time for a part time
Lover or friend
I’m in it for the good
(We’ll get through the bad)
You’ll be the best friend I ever had
Cause if you’re here for the long haul
We can make it through the times
We have to run or when we gotta crawl
And if your not here for tomorrow
Then baby, spose you better be straight up and ball.

Closure

I can't make you love me
i can't make you stay
but i'm not gonna say
its easy to watch you to walk away
cause i poured my soul into you
and that didnt make it okay

you say you gotta go
and i can't understand why
what is it that what i have to offer
is never enough
you say someone else out there
can give you the right kind of love
and i ask myself then what where we doing
standing still in time
not really moving?

i loved you even when i shouldnt
i loved you even though you wouldnt
recipricate, left me dead
for days on end
rsusitate myself in the end
after i had wiped away all of the tears
but i still carry you with me
by the marks on my sould, looking for someone elses to borrow

cause though i cant watch you leave
and you say we dont have what it takes to make it work
and though you ripped my heart to shreads
that till the day i die i think it'll hurt
you could never love me the way i deserve
becuase you'll always think you come first
first before my heart, first before yours
first before my love that you found so easy to ignore

i wont say its been easy
but the days have gotten better
breathing has become easier
and the load i beared has got lighter
i can now see the stars shine through the dark blue sky
and each day i'm not with you
they get brighter :)

Half Empty

Half Empty

I bent my back so far
It broke
I swallowed my tongue so much
I started to choke
All for the foolish love
Of hope

I twisted my arm
In the hope of change
Listening to your promises
For it to last a second then back to same
I loved you for all the wrong reasons
And you pointed the blame
Guess love is blind
And a loosing hand in your game


A fool for your look
So desperate for your love
All self-respect I gave up
Your promises never lasting
Not enough began to be enough
I was never one for tough love

A heart handed to you
On a plate
So heartless
One moment is all it took you to break
And every day it got too late
To get up and take
My heart to somewhere safe.

Katie Liane 2010

Dear Mr Fate

Dear Mr Fate
It seems that you appear
Everytime I experience
A case of heartache
And you shine away my rainy cloud
And bring me hope
And remind me of what’s just around
Just around the corner
And everyday you continue to do so
My heart feels less like stone
And starts to turn warmer.

Katie Liane <3 2010

Everything

Everything

Did I not love you enough?
Did I not treat you right?
Did I not give you everything?
Blinded myself for you
For the sake of love?
Did I not try my hardest?
To only get stuck

And baby you had me stuck
Stuck between a rock and a hard place
Giving with everything I could bare
Loved you even when you made it impossible to care
And did I not keep walking by your side
When I shoulda left after every fight?

After all the hard work and tears
I head back home empty and full of heartache
Cause I worked myself to the bone
For you to say it was all a big mistake
Cause boy you’ve broken me down into pieces
Telling all these lies how I never even tried

Did I not break myself down for you?
Did I not water my soul down for you to bare?
For in the end for you not to care?
No baby cause I tried, I tried so hard I died
Everyday with you died another piece inside
And you’ll never know, they’ll never know
Just how it felt how you’d let me go.

Katie Liane 2010

About You

About You

You don’t deserve a love song
But I’m gonna write you one anyway
Cause as much as the wounds you left
Burn me inside
The truth is I can’t forget you
No matter how hard I try
And the hardest thing is to say goodbye
And despite the way you chose
I still finding myself stopping
And feel my heart coming to blows

Cause baby don’t you know you had me
More than a minute
More than two
More than three or four
And the moments I could have fallen for you
You’d have me till you close down
Even the stars would fall like my heart
At the disappointment of returning back to start

And some days I get by
I don’t even have to try
And some day’s baby I miss you by my side
The nights are cold without you by my side
And I was falling when you’d kiss my neck
Tell me I was beautiful
But the moment you realised you’d let
You feelings slip; you’d close up and forget
That there were two
Cause baby, you always forgot about me
It was always about you.

KLN 2010

Baby

so my baby died today and i can't believe it. i will miss you forever i love you. this is for you.

Baby

I’ll miss you more each day
Every second just wont be the same
Walk in with your welcome
Full of joy and love
Now with you gone
My heart is stuck
Stuck without you
Stuck without us

You were my shoulder to cry on
When things went bad
Always loved me
And come running back
And living without you is unbearable
Thought you were like Michael Jackson
Eternal

What do I do without you now?
I can feel you’re spirit saying I’ll make it somehow
But it doesn’t make it right
Or any safer knowing you not here tonight
To watch over me, over us
Only to wake the day with the same amount of love
Like you haven’t seen us for days
Even months

Cause I love you more than any human
Any man
You were silent, listened
And would always understand
And loved me back unconditionally
You’d follow me around endlessly
And now what is life to be
Without you here my love?
Without you here my baby?

r.i.p baby xxxx

KLN

Heartless

finally found the word for what you are.....

H<3artless

I packed my bags
Long before you packed yours
For months now
I’ve been eyeing up that door
But something always held me back
Always brought me back in
And no matter how hard I tried to fight it
You always brought me back in

And I always assumed you were happy in this life
I was the only one
To point out our strife
Trynna make it work
God it hurt
Over and over you shot me down
Wanted you so bad that I stuck round
And now it’s all said and done
I took too many bullets now
Cause its turned into a hit and run

And I’ll never understand how a man
Can be so heartless
Gave him all I could bare
And he still loves himself more than us
Cause I know later its gonna be a knife in my heart
To see you give someone else
Which should have been my part
If I’m still hurt by then
Then its gonna pull me apart

Cause I gave you me
And return I came back empty
As usual you filled you cup to the top
Turned your back and forgot
That this is was a two way street
And people always wanna talk
But they’ll never know watcha did to me
Cause now I’m laying here dead on the floor
Trying to resuscitate myself from all the heartache
From the burning you did inside
From everyone believing you are a nice guy
And me living the lie
Telling myself it’s worth the pain if he can spell L.O.V.E
Surprise, surprise that I didn’t see
Guess heartless is your speciality.

Rollercoaster

Rollercoaster

I’m like a rollercoaster
Going round and round
Just when I think I’ve found peace
Reality brings me back down
Whenever I’m happy I feel bad
Whenever I’m down I feel sad
And I can’t seem to find the balance
Between I miss you
And the needed goodbye
The days are filled with this rollercoaster
And I can’t help but cry
And I wonder if you even care
Or contemplated on me
I spend my days reminiscing how it used to be
Before you changed
Before you gave up on us
And we only knew each other by name.

KLN 2010

Trouble Sleeping

Trouble Sleeping

I can’t sleep
Cause I’m thinking bout you
Bout before and us two
How it was before and the things you said
Going round and round in circles
Inside my head
Making it impossible to go to bed

Keep thinking bout the words
Like vomit to my ears
Telling me it was all a mistake
Your empty goodbye
Only emphasised the heartache
Thinking back to days earlier
Wishing only I knew what I know now
Then I coulda made the clean break

All I can think about
Are the words I never got to say
Forget them all in your presence
And now I remember since you walked away
Trying to comprehend your words
That now continues to plague
Me, my body ever single day
Wanted to ask how you feel now
Wondering how you’re doing and if you ever think of me?
If there’s anything you’d change
Like you should have broken it properly

I wonder if you have trouble sleeping
Just like me
Whether or not you also struggle to breathe
Cause the way you left has led to me to believe
That I meant nothing; leaving me with endless tears
And I feel if that’s not your notion
Then you should clear it up promptly

Cause I can’t sleep
With these questions running through my mind
Heads working overtime
I know friendship could never work with you and I
Only gonna see you as my guy
And to see you with another will make me cry
Cause its not about whether it was good or bad
Or whether ending was right or wrong
It was about the principle of being with someone for so long
That you part with them on good terms
With respect and love
And not leave them with heartburns.

KLN

Don't Wanna

Don't Wanna

I don’t wanna look at another photo of you
Till the day I die
Cause I can’t feel anything for you
For how you said goodbye
And as far as I’m concerned
That’s one less tear cried
To the man who never even tried

I don’t to hear your name
For as long as I walk this earth
Cause if I hear it
It’ll only flashback the memories
And it’ll hurt
How I gave you more than you deserved
And stuck by you foolishly
Despite how much it hurt

I don’t want to be in your presence
For as long as I can breathe
Don’t want to share the same air as you
Your toxic may make me again foolish and naïve
About every time you said you’d change your ways
And I’d believe
Believe so bad cause I wanted it to work
That I’d always put you first

And I don’t want to remember you
For as long as I can reminisce
Cause the pain you’ve caused
Is more than deserving to be missed
I don’t believe remembering you is worth
The small times remembering the good
And the most part the bad
Reminding myself of what we could have had
Knowing you couldn’t change let alone the stars
And fully knowing it’s your bad.


KLN 2010

Now That You’re Gone

Now That You’re Gone

I hate seeing you everywhere I go
Everywhere I turn
Can’t you just leave me alone?
I let you in and now you’re on my skin
My walls and my bed linen
You’re on my heart and I can’t believe this is it
And I try to swallow it whilst I sit

Had you for so long and now don’t know where to go
I’m straggling between the lines
Of missing you and I should have left before so
I’ve become numb to everything
And I count down the days since we last spoke
When you left me on my doorstep
And broke everything piece by piece

I try to put you to the back of my mind
But you still creep into my head
And every morning I wake and it’s working overtime
Cause I’m trying to make sense of it all
And put a year of you in a box under my bed
Forget you in 11 days along with everything you ever said
Cause it just all seems like lies
Even the way you said goodbye

And I wonder if you sat and thought about me
If you feel the way I have
If you even care, if you’ve even felt bad
Questioned your decision or thought if only we had
Worked a little harder or if you had opened up
If you could have been honest or mentioned love
Taken your time to cherish what you had in your arms
And regret all of your harm

Cause one moment I will hate you
The next I’ll miss
Then I’ll remind my self of the list
Where you tried to break me down
But now your everywhere I walk
And it’s such a struggle to pull myself back
From the heartache you brought.

KLN 2010

.....

Gave you all I had to give
And got nothing back
Fought so hard in this war
But you forgot what you had
I wanted a better future
But you changed sides
And now it's almost over
There's no one left alive

Cause I put you first
And you'd push me away
Everythings telling me to leave
But still I stay
And I can't explain
Why I'm so weak this way
When I deserve better
Than just O.K

Fall

Fall

How can I save you
Without the tumble and fall
Without you telling me
I shoulda been there through it all

How do you save a life
When she don’t know how
To pick herself up
When she fights against you
Because everyone’s broken her trust

How to prove to a broken girl
That life is more than these four walls
That we all tumble and fall
And that those voices inside
Are the ones that’ll kill you if you let them try

How can I love you
Without tredding on eggshells
Without you telling me to go to hell
As I stand my eyes start to swell
Knowing it could be too late
To save you from your heartache

"I Love You"

“I love You”
If you don’t say it back
Then it’ll break my heart in two
Baby theres no one else
No one but you
And it has over taken my body
Baby, I won’t be able to wait for forever
To hear you say you love me
So say it back baby, I’ll secretly whisper to myself inside
That you are happy in our life
As I lay back down next to your side
Waiting for those words
That before we’ve never been able to find.

KLN 2009

sooo errr right.......tinnitus you say?....yeah...fucking great.

So i've been experiencing tinnitus for the last two months and i can tell you its one hell of a bitch and an even bigger rollercoaster.
these days its ALL i can hear, fortunately though unable to hear it at when i'm out and about and when there is noise. TBH i have cried twice already in the last 5 days over it and have felt depression and some even top themselves over the noise in their head. and quite frankly i understand. i'm PISSED. not angry. not a annoyed. but undeniably PISSED OFF at my ear. i know its all my fault for lod music exposure, i know. i even told myself to turn that shit down and this pompass fool that i am didnt listen last time and look at the fuckery i am in now hey. get to listen to a noise machine for free 24/7. and people say BE POSITIVE and all i can say is FUCK OFF when it gets loud and you have to change your whole lifestyle its just fucking annoyuing. and since there is no cure you can understand my annoyance!!!!!!!!!
and yes yes once again i know its all my fault, if only i had listened to myself, i have killed and stabbed myself (metaphorically of course!) in the chest a billioni times since i found out. so all i can hope is that the doc has some life changing miracle for my ears or it sorts itself out and i can stop being one of those statistics of depression that tinnitus takes under its wings. joyus little mother fucking bastad. p.s. did i say i was PISSED already???!!!!!!!

Left

Something i wrote for my beau :)
...rememembering this makes me smile

Left

I’ll watch you close your eyes
And drift away
Appreciating every second spent
Just where we lay
Knowing any other second spent with you
Just isn’t the same
Nothing between our frames
I know now beauty exists
And I want to lie here forever
So I’ll savour this moment
So I can relive it over and over again

Katie Liane 2009

Okay...soooo....American Idol...

Ive been a big fan of American Idol since my homeslice Sophie introduced it to me back in 2006/07. Her mum used to send her copies of it through the post during our first year (i know, crazy right! lol) and since then my life hasnt been the same. All the stereotypes the world has for Americans all proved they were true in just five minutes of watching this program! friggin awsome! lol

and anyhoes, i'm an avid youtuber! i can say i'm apart of that community! lol but theres this one guy who I came accross that I love and his name is Andrew Garcia. and i've been watching his videos avidly for a few months now. The moment I had heard he had stepped onto the American Idol scene the obsession has arisen again, not even the lack of a television, let alone a sky box, can stop me watching him on his journey! oh HELL NO! lol. so i thought i'd do a quick blog, say ALL should check him out, support him and cheer A-N-D-R-E-W G-A-R-C-I-A!!!!!! :)



p.s. how the crap do the judges get off getting rid of Tori Kelly?!! she's amazing!! been following her on youtube for a while too! (without sounding perverted! haha lols) x

It Shouldn’t Be This Easy

when you actually think about it..............

It Shouldn’t Be This Easy

It shouldn’t be this easy to break away
Surely there should be obstacles
Tracks, or something getting in our way
Surely fate has other plans for you and I?
Cause it shouldn’t be this simple to break from my guy

I always thought love would overrule our head
In my dreams this was the case
And In reality I always chose my head instead
And I thought when the time came
It would be impossible, and I’d never have the need to
Break away

And now the time is here
And its simple clean cut
As long as the heart steers clear
But surely it shouldn’t be this easy to break free
I had dreamt you all my life; you were gonna be my baby
But the reality of life has made me naive
As I imagine how easy it is to pack and leave


Loves supposed to be forever
Like the story’s in Disney
Sposed to wake me from sleepy
And live forever after happy
Love is supposed to be complicated
In the fact you’re unable to leave
But why is it so simple
That I can even do it figuratively

Shouldn’t you be holding me back,
Begging me to stay?
Trying to convince me by saying
‘Your life will never be the same’
That there’s nothing that compare to us?
Cause though I know love isn’t a dream
Baby, it just shouldn’t be this easy to leave.

Katie Liane 2010

Jus trynna explain a few things.........


I Can’t Love You

Didn’t realise how angry I was until now
Till she released it
And made me realise somehow
How much you hurt me
And ripped away at my walls
Told me those three words
That I found impossible to believe
Always thought I’d fall for them
But I’m grown now
And not so naive

I can’t love you
Cause its just too late
I can’t let you in
Cause it’s only destined for heartbreak
And I can’t forgive
Cause it’s been so long
And I have to let go
Cause you just keep it going on and on
And one of has to let go
And I’ll have to it cause you could never admit
Just where you went wrong

I used to accept it the way it was
People said I should make a change
But I was convinced it was a road I shouldn’t cross
Had it right that you and I were at a loss
No point in trying
Cause to you I was forgotten memory
Too hard to get back; so easier to keep lost
And you had the time for everyone but I
Didn’t care about how many tears I cried
And now the years have passed
And the same bullshit has been able to last
Cause now you’re only realising
Jus what you allowed to pass

But no one more than me
Knows just how to leave
Cause I had an expert coach
One who new the bitter cold approach
To leave the person in pieces
And you worked your magic
In the form of me
And now I cant love you cause it’s just too late
Cause I know now it’s only destined for heartbreak.

Katie Liane 2010

If This Is Love...

So i haven't written in what seems like FOREVER. probably because it was all about how love/cupid(? lol) had forgotten about me and i was a sick of men etc etc lol but that has all changed now. and i just wrote this and thought I'd post it (like usual).......enjoy.



If This Is Love…

I don’t know if how I feel about you is right
And I can’t plan the rest of my life
But I know without you I’d hide in the dark
Because you have been my light

I don’t know where we’ll be in a year’s time
Let alone two
So for now all I can do is write a love song for you
Because I don’t know what love is
If this is it at all
And then if it is, I don’t ever want to let go
Because this love has been hard enough to find
And to let go of it is to forget precious time

What I do know is it hasn’t always been this right
The turbulence was strong before we hit our stride
And now we can taste the fruits of our flight
Knowing that someday you are going to leave
And waking mornings you’ll no longer be within sight
But a piece left in my heart along with memories of our life
And that’ll do for later, but now I’m enjoying our height

And if this is love, even with expiration
Then I will love you with all my heart
With no hesitation
Watch the sun rise and fall with you
Allow myself to fall for you
And know that you are my first
But you’ll never be the last
Yet the only man I have ever
Truly let touch my heart.

Katie Liane 2010

(untitled)

so whilst i was sorting my stuff out for assesment i started to find a few poems i had written on the back and on bits of layout pads. this one i wouldnt let myself to read it since i wrote it. dont know why, perhaps the reality of something, like actually letting someone in and allowing myself to be vunerable for the first time ever. and this is about my mr man in my life, and when he left for a few days to go back home to Brooklyn. I don't like the last line, i would prefer to change it. but it is what it is, and i'm leaning to let it stay the way it is. oh, and its (untitled). LOVE

I miss you
But I won't allow myself to think
To do so
Is the realisation
That you're not here
We always get so close
But your circumstances make you dissapear
And though I don't allow myself to
Depend on you
There's a part of me that does
And thats the part I just can't breathe
Until you're back with me
Wrapping my body
Like a hand perfectly fitting a glove.

drag queens & polaroids

So basically its 1.01am and i'm absolutely nackered. assessment couldnt come any quicker. the tutors weren't joking that this year (3rd year) would fly by so damn fast....They forgot to mention there would be a lack of sleep involved. last term i took the time to go to bed before 12am but so far has been unsucessful this term with the run up to the crunch.

All i really wanna do is have one day to just chillax, spend the day in my pj's and watch chick flicks. or even just to cuddle up in the arms of my boyfriend and just lay there and talk. we could even watch martin. i dont love it, but i love it that he finds it soooooo damn funny and i'm still dont get the humour, wondering whats sooooo damn funny lol. maybe its an american thing? lol

and i still have to write my dissertation, and i'm upset that i didnt give myself enough time to research properly, constantly trying to avoid it because i dislike reading so much. and i constantly blame that on my dyslexia, however i feel thats more me telling myself that i can't do it, 'the shrink says i'm crap at it, so its true'. wrong attutitude. in truth i feel it takes sooo much energy outta me cause i miss read lines and then they get all confuzzled and then an age to read. bleh.

and finally, i havent written a poem in FOREVER. i cant wait till i have the time to write, i think this is the first time i've gone this long without writing. sure i get my lil dry spells of no inspiration that could last for a month or two, but this long? damn. my brain must be confizzled with design, and pictures of drag queens and square foots lol.

and now off to sleep, it seems to be getting harder everyday this week to get up with all these late nights.

love x

and p.s. above is one of the coolest drag images i could find in my quest for a a drag cabaret poster i'm doing. i'm sure one day i'll get round to posting my work. and also fill in about one of the 2nd years on my course trying to steal last years d&ad winners work along with another designers work. she obviously underestermated us (use that loosely as i didnt find it! haha) 3rd years!!!